was a terrible day today. got three really bad marks in chemistry, extended chemistry and history. i had such a good feeling when i wrote the history test. and then comes live and/or school and slaps me right into the face. i really have to grind hard for school from now on, i really don’t wanna repeat this year.
i thought about sending my crush a sweet good night snap (i have an 80+ snapstreak with her) but i really don’t want her to find out. i think if she found out she would think im weird. and then she would probably tell all my friends about it and if that happens, i can pretty much give up all of my friendships… but i actually miss the love of a girl, although i never experienced it before. life is strange, i think love is a need for me but why can’t i achieve it?
i’m going to sleep now, a few hours of full relaxation from sadness and pain. tomorrow is a good day, we have sports at school where we often play basketball. but there also is a germany exam tomorrow. i hope i can finally get a good mark once again
half time depression 